Fly away..

 “There is a fly. Like a real fly in the kitchen”.

I hmmphed in response. “It will fly away. Tis a fly! That is what they do.”.

The child ignored the awful attempt at a pun.

“We need paper. And traps. I am going to deal with the fly”.

I offered her last week’s grocery list. And explained that the house lacked decent traps – we all make do with whatever we have. C’est la vie.

I came back a few minutes later to find her lying spreadeagled on the floor with a piece of paper in her hands. She had tricked an ant into crawling on the paper. I say “tricked” because it is important to the narrative. “The ant didn’t want to crawl on to the paper”, she informed me.

“It changed its mind, huh?”

“I asked it to hop on there; I said the sweetest things to it”.

To expound how one sweet talks an ant, she offered the ant a pat. And told the ant that it was a reasonably clean ant. You got to admit that not many ants get either privilege.

“Umm, where is the fly?” I asked.

“It is part two of my plans. Part one was getting the ant on the paper”.

She looked up towards the innocuous, buzzing fly.

“Hey fly, see what the ant did? See, how much he likes the paper. He even gets a pat. Do you want a pat?”

The fly wasn’t impressed. Either that or it was not as credulous as the ant when it came to such deceit.

She abandoned the idea after about five minutes. This was also when the fly let itself out through an open window.

Now was a good time to ask her how the ant fit into the whole scheme of things.

“Ah”, she said loftily. “I figured the fly would want to see the ant up closer – you know like a trap. Or maybe, it would just think that resting on the paper for a bit, was a good idea.”

“Some flies have a mind of their own”

The character synopsis was ignored. “And then, I would have flicked the ant to the ground, rolled up the paper tightly around the fly, and raced outdoors to release the fly”.

“Where is the ant now?”

“I stepped on it, its leg fell off”.  The most macabre truths can be delivered with élan and stunning simplicity. “The fly is gone though. And I put the shopping list in the bin”.

 Honestly, WHY would anyone want a less tedious way of swatting a fly after all this!  All you need is an ant that has been willingly subjugated, a piece of paper and of course a naive (or naive enough) fly!

There is a charm of its own, dear reader, in taking the meandering side-roads over the sterile highways.