The Letters Never Posted – Part II

Dear ____,

It has been years since I last saw you. A giant leviathan has thus passed, a chasm that separates the world we once knew with the worlds that we inhabit now. I would not have recognized you had I seen you walking down the street and yet in a strangely reclusive and aloof online world, I find myself looking for signs of recognition in your words, your smile, the way you always stare at unseen objects in photographs.

In another time and another place, we spent ages rewriting study notes, eating at decrepit road-side stalls after long days of lab work, giggling at what must have been moments of hilarity and listening to music together.Your eyes have this faraway look now – almost as if you are not on good terms with either the present nor the future. If I look at your pictures, I can almost see your past standing next to you in all the photos – a grim-faced yet hazy silhouette in the shadows, waiting to be acknowledged, half hopeful and half bashful.

You really loved him, didn’t you? The rest of us made do with Mills and Boons and romantic movies, you actually had this person who gifted you with bright roses, took you on dates and surprised you with impromptu drives. When you talked of him, your eyes lit up and your voice took on a special lilt. You never really accepted this though – you said he was a good friend and really, that was all there was to it. We rolled our eyes at this and gave you knowing looks, watching you fumble with words even as you changed topics and demanded to know more about our love lives or mostly the lack of them.

Every love story begins in hope – solid, thick, unyielding, indefatigable hope. After a while, time and circumstances dilute the best of intentions and this once indestructible panacea is rendered wispy and infirm.  It is a good thing that we do not know this when we set out – our journeys would not take us very far if we knew how great the chances of our getting lost are, even with a map.  And since we do not talk much of a love that died young, I do not ask you about it when I do talk to you. There is always an obituary of silence for a love that passed away before its prime.

But sometimes, when we reminisce about the old days and you laugh like the old times, the past is so tangible and so throbbing with life that I almost end up asking you if you are at peace with both of you going your own ways. You sidestep those minefields of memories that have a tendency to drown and before the moment passes, you hide behind the curtains of your life as it stands now, suddenly a stranger whose recollection of those days is fleeting and inconsequential. The past stands next to me, silent and brooding away as you fade into the distance. No matter how strong the ties that bind, what we take into the beckoning lands of the future lies up to us, and us alone.

I was jealous of you then, I can say this now. I was not the only one, we all chase rainbows when the skies crowd up. I did not say this then of course, but like you can feel those gaping holes of lost love, I can sometimes still feel the pang of jealousy as if it was yesterday. I am not trying to belittle your love by saying I am no longer jealous. I am not – but this is not because your love failed. Because, love never fails. But it never truly goes away. We are the ones that fail love – despite our most glorious attempts to change our messy fates we stand powerless against the whims of chance.  That is all there is to love – it is indestructible. It comes back well disguised, modified, altered, stronger and often for a longer haul.

The past makes no promises of peace. Only the future can do that. I hope you extract your promises this time. And perhaps give love another chance.

Warm Regards,

The Girl Who Watched You Love and Lose and Live

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Captain Nemo
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 16:52:48

    Oh.My.God!!!
    Totally agree with “That is all there is to love – it is indestructible. It comes back well disguised, modified, altered, stronger and often for a longer haul.”
    This is absolutely glorious – thought and prose.

    Reply

  2. Rajavel
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 20:51:22

    you are awesome VJ ! your prose is good not just because of how you write. But because of what you write too. It is very very enriching to read. Sadly August is coming to an end. Wettest August in India in the last ten years it seems. You did contribute to it.

    Reply

  3. scarlettletters
    Aug 27, 2010 @ 10:57:00

    CN and Rajavel – thanks guys. You two have been my most constant supporters over this month long journey 🙂

    Glad to know you liked this piece.

    Cheerios,
    S

    Reply

  4. Rajavel
    Aug 27, 2010 @ 13:19:53

    Scary

    I hope you dont drop this like dead weight from September. Hope you find the inspiration to regularly writing …

    Reply

  5. Aria
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 03:32:41

    “There is always an obituary of silence for a love that passed away before its prime.”

    sigh.. true.. ! lovely post .. lovely.. too good..

    Reply

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