Not now!

Dear Neighbour,

You may have completely missed the memo but someone needs to tell you that it is not yet summer.  It is cold and miserable and wet and foggy. Mowing your lawn in the rain during a storm may well be your idea of adventure. But in case no one ever pointed this out to you – the contraption that you reckon is a lawn mower is probably a lathe machine. Or a military combat vehicle. Possibly both.

The grass is not really being cut – did you see that? You are merely flattening it – it is still there. And by tomorrow when you wake up and look outside the window, it will have found enough strength to stand up again. It is not magic, I must tell you this. And since there is nothing remotely magical about having a combat vehicle making painful chugging sounds outside your house on a cold evening, I wish you would abandon your grand plans and go back inside. Have you noticed that a whole lot of us are waiting for you to go back to whatever you were doing before you decided to indulge in gardening? Do you see the lights in the front porches and the windows? No?

Also, take those sun-glasses off. And while you are at it, take those clunky ear phones off too. See. Different world, ain’t it? It is dark. Like really dark. Because it is night you dear owl (no sun, look around). You are being loud too but you cannot hear yourself, so I may forgive you for this aberration.

I admire your tenacity to change landscapes and seasons and believe in the spring in your heart. I really do. It is deeply moving and empowering. BUT. I swear, the crickets and birds have migrated to the next suburb, thanks to you. And some of us need to go to sleep in our own homes because we cannot flee the street unlike these winged creatures.

Could you please give it a rest till tomorrow morning? Or the weekend when I won’t be home much? No? Oh well, I think I just got my first valid excuse for having a complete lapse of words for updating this blog. You are not that bad after all.

Wait, come back. You simply cannot finish up your job now.  I cannot write in such sterile silence. Mow the bleddy lawn.  My writing depends on it.

Kind regards,

The deranged woman who is staring at you from her front window


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rajavel
    Sep 10, 2010 @ 22:21:41

    ROTFL ! You look dangerous now ! Really dangerous !


  2. Poornima
    Sep 11, 2010 @ 16:37:41

    LOL! This totally cracked me up! Love the post Scarlett


  3. Captain Nemo
    Sep 13, 2010 @ 20:04:16

    Good one…


  4. scarlettletters
    Sep 14, 2010 @ 09:46:43

    Thanks folks. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go back to staring at my delusional neighbour 😛


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